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January - April,  2005

 Mostly Grenadianisms

NEN NEN always told me not to eat too much ASHAM because ah go PUFF.
Well, ah put AH BUNLOAD AH LICKS on the ASHAM , but ah never PUFF yet.
And the FIG that they told me not to eat in the hot sun was my favorite.
Ah ate so many of them but they NEVER KNOCK ME DOWN as the people said.
Teresita peeped through her window once and told me not to STUFF DOWN so many mangoes ah go get SHI TTINGS.
Ah suck mangoes as if they put LITE on me but ah never got SHI TTINGS.

Me COMPERE once said that I looked like ah WOODEN JUDGE IN AH RAMGOAT SESSION.
Ah still trying to figure our what that meant.
And when ah woke up in the morning and had a little cold sore on me mouth,
they told me that CACAROACH KISSED ME and ah looked like AH JUMBIE BEAD.

Ah took ah very short bath and they told me ah took ah GEORGE OTWAY.
But yuh can't blame me; the pipe was in the middle of the yard and ah din want people to MACO ME POLICEMAN.

So ah BOUNCED UP ah TAYBAE woman.
She said, "Wha yuh watching me for?"

Ah said, "JOOK OUT ME EYE NAH!"

Then she said I was BARRING her and asked me,

"YUH FADDAR IS AH GLASS MAKER?"

Ah replied, "WOMAN, AH TIEF YUH WHITE FOWL?"

She then said,

"MACO, THEY SEND YUH FOR ME, TELL DEM YU ENT SEE ME"

Ah said, "LEH ME GO ME WAY EH, IS ME YUH HA STRENGTH ON?"

Her final words,

"YUH GO MISS ME OUI, YU LOOK LIKE AH DRY OCHRO STICK!"

Just then ah big political meeting was taking place.
Two rotten eggs whizzed by.Ah say,RUCTION in the place.
If that continued it was BYE BYE BLAKEY for me.
LAWD,FIRE IN THE CONGO! But the politician kept using some big HENGIBBIT words like he SWALLOW AH DICTIONARY.
An old RUMBO from Marshall's rum shop looked at him and said"

"PREACH IT BROTHER PREACH IT, DAT IS NOT MAN, DAT IS MAN PUPPA!" Someone showed him where the church was.

Ah held on to me girl and went inside the house.
Me friend got mad and asked me if ah HA BUD IN CAGE.
If you see me, BREEZE CYAN PASS.

Who ah BOUNCED UP when ah come back outside, but FADDAH PRIEST.
He told me he was shocked that I LEGGO one in church so close to the pulpit.
He said if that continueD he will give me something to eat da go CORK me.

Then ah made up me mind dat no one would catch me with dem little tricks they tried on me.
Vero caught me once. She made a fist and told me to pinch the spot by the finger opposite the thumb.
When I did, she laughed,

"You pinched FOWL BAM BAM"

That BUGGA!

  2005 Anthony Wendell Deriggs.

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